Destiny's Calling

gnome today, burnt tomorrow

This could be onesided due to the awesomeness of sonlin in this game!!  After coming out triumpantly from the maze, again strange coincidence that burning the maze would result in more aggresive weed things.  At this point, you wonder should an adventurors kit contain weed killer, bug spray and a water hose. It could solve most of our problems easier.  Still heros, maze sorted, kudos to heros for getting around unicorn without their usual destroy, burn and steal the dead or deficate the dead.   The hero’s decide like all trusty horror movies to seperate, works in horrors, what could go wrong!  For once though the heros employed some tactics and decided to sneak around the bushes funnelling potential avenues of attack, this was sonlin and lindon.  Arjan, dragonboy and birdseye taking the advantage on the hill.  Low and behold, instead of the usual wilderness with lovely ponds and scenic flowers, the heros find a field of nasty gnomes, who decide to try various methods to try to kill adventurors.  I mean was there some sort of blog or letter campaign about the adverurors, no matter where they go, they come across bad things wanted to start some or maybe its payback for deficating the dead who knows.  Still the gnomes come in after dividing with slightly more going to thr right flank, the gnomes start by blinding and poisoning the adventurors.  Blinded sonlin thinks screw it and just blast the little feckers with a flame strike and toasts five of them.  with there little feet still burning and the dazed wtf expression they try to muster back into the fight.  Paul comes in with some pretty good attacks and shielding and occupies the little blighters for a bit, while on the other side, thanks to some poor gnome markmanship and bad weapon swings, the rest of the adventourors manage to hold their own and start beating them down.  At this point you have to injeract we battle hardened adventourors, big weapons, armour, one of us is a dragon, elemental as such and were taking on gnomes.  Sonlin go again, but this time he can see the little feckers and think blow it, pulls out another flame attack, so powerful was this one, that pobman takes a critical hit, although always willing to take one for the team, just shrugs his head and claps like a team player.  On this one two of the blighters take a critical hit and a total of 7 gnomes take a hit, 3 dead not all of them slightly toasted.  they try and come back, but lets face it, there butt munched and counting down there timers.  meanwhile on the otherside the other adventourors are hacking the crap out of the rest of the gnomes and in dismay there still rolling low rolls.  the few hits they are manageming, are dazing, blinding and stalling the adventourours, injurywise, about as deadly as a knittin needle from the crazy old woman up the stream.  (caution dont drink the water).  Sonlin all cocky says to lindon he is not needed and in flash, he teleports right in front of the gnome and despactches him, in a few quick moves.  Poor little gnome, dare he stand against pobman.  At this point, because sonlin is so damn hard, he intimidates one of them to dance around a magical aura.  Again the cocky sonlin steps in, going with the triend and tested creates a super storm of fire, so powerful it roasts some poor flying birds (probably to return evil at some point).   the rest of gnomes get fracked (fracked due to the presence of a lady, aka bas mum).   sonlin triumpantly taken on over half the gnomes and one, he trots round to try to help the others, but the wee gnomes out of site of his weapons, in his frustration, sonlin takes on the tree and poor acorns get toasted, the rest of the adventourors kick ass and its gnome shish kebabs skeletons are taken as trophy and dragonboy heals everyone.  The adventourours look at all the magical bits and each magical bit contains an element, including electricity, not sure if that is an elemenet unless your raydan.  The guys decide to check out some cave, not the brothal the local club or restaurant, the cave (another classic horror movie move).  luckily this cave is inhabited by our friendly dragon who has helped us, teasing us by hovering over some treasure.  The treasure motivated heros think hmmm, but kick ass dragon means probable death, conclusion look at the lovely pool in the middle of the cave which cant be peed in.  our toughened adventurours decide to stroke bunny that has come out every hour from the pool, well a creature comes out.  it was such a lovely day in the cave, that dandolins where worn in true gok style.  The dragon explains that the pool brings thing back to life.  enter sonlin and the moment of genius takes one of the carcasses of gnome and puts it in the pool, out comes naked nobby, the adventorors new pet, mascot, general dogs body.  recently being brought back to life and dazed, but without his murderous ways, hurrah.  sonlin claims his prize and ties a rope around him.  Nobby  4 foot 2, mostly nakd, likes long walks in the field and spitting of bridges, hates fire, loves water, friends call him naked nobby.  Sonlin then grabs some venom from a friendly spider as you do and the group grab some life giving water.  They decide to go help a town that is being harassed (think by something evil, who would have guessed).  The adventourours move on, when they get to the town, naked nobby has disapeered.  The shock and upset of losing the teams mascot, forces them back to the cave on a saving private nobby mission, they find that as nobby left the cave, he was taken by some bad dude wizard possibly linked to the evil doings.  God bless coincidence, it is decided that the heros will become more kick ass, take on the wizard and rescue naked nobby (poster to come soon).  The heros went back to the town to continue to burn. 

An A-Maze-ing session

First off. If the titles annoy you, then write the fucking session reports yourself!

We left the last session in the middle of a fight with an adult green dragon. This was resolved fairly quickly in this session as the Dragon ran away. We could have probably chased it (it seemed to have a fly speed of 12, whereas Linden’ speed is 14 if he double moves – but then he wouldn’t be able to attack) but it seemed sensible to leave it.

We discovered a skeleton which Sonliin claimed as his own and strapped to hsi back. He called it Mikel/Michael/Mika it seemed to change as the evening wore on.

Arjan, spotted a hole under a rock and discovered a cache of treasure!

We carried on through the forest and came across a maze. We let Arjan go first and he was attacked by vines, so the rest of us decided that seeing as he is the beefiest and definitely the most capable of handling himself that we’d let him fin the way and then we’d follow him. Unfortunately we also forgot that he’s also the dumbest member of the party…

After a little while Birdseye and Linden ventured into the maze but Sonliin stayed behind. In the maze we came across dead people. Each dead person had a journal (see below). Satyrs appeared and were aggressive. After a bit of time Sonliin tried setting fire to the vines, but that made them bigger. he then joined us and came across an aggressive Unicorn. As he didn’t speak Elven (which is the Unicorn’s natural language), he used Mage Hand to tickle the Unicorn’s testicles to try and soothe it. Amazingly this seemed to work. After more fun in the maze with satyrs, vines grabbing people (well Birdsye in particular), we managed to gather all of the jounrals from the dead people.

One of the journals asked for the journal to be returned to her father via a trinket in her pocket. Linden obliged and then as if by magic a father appeared [2GP for whoever understands that reference). He insulted us as the people who didn’t save Kraler (he was one of the survivors). We then discovered this guy was a triple hard bastard, so we were left wondering why he didn’t save the town if he was so fucking awesome. Definitely potential villain material.

Once he went, we settled down for an extended rest. I’ve shortened the session report quite a bit, to accommodate the journal entries (FUCK I seem to have missed one. There are only 9 entries below!!!), but the Maze was the big part of the night and was a lot of fun.

The Journal of Black Hearted Beatrice
“Day 1: An ancient legend tells of a great Necrotic spell that is inscribed on a rock in a forest of Death. As this forest is known as the Evergreen Death, logic would dictate I come here. The Wood Woads don’t appreciate my presence. They blame me for the trees that others have cut down. So I steal the very life force from the fools. MWAHAHA!”
“Day 2: I have been to the very heart of this forest, but there is no spell on the rock. Perhaps I was wrong. There are other dead forests in Galyana, perhaps one of those has what I seek. I will set out to Kraler at dawn, to review the sacred texts, and canvas the inbred hicks. In the meantime, I shall feast on the flesh of this dead Dragon.”
“Day 3: I have discovered the secret to dealing with these pesky Vines. They are harmed by Necrotic energy. It’s times like this I’m proud to have taken the path of Necromancy. Suck it vines. I am more powerful than you. I just wish I could find those damnable Unicorns. It must be mating season. Noisy beasts. I would enjoy killing them. Unicorn parts are good for magic, and quite valuable to sell. Especially Unicorn Blood. Well, it does grant an extended life. And it heals wounds very well. I shall collect several vials of that too. Bollocks to the ‘Curse of Unicorn Blood’.”

The Journal of Wendy the Well Wicked
“Day 1: I heard a rumour that a family of Green Dragons live here. I surely hope so. It is my dream to slay one of each species. I have killed Blue Dragons, White Dragons and Black Dragons. I would dearly love a Green Dragon’s head to accompany those on the wall of my home. But today, I have only seen Eladrin. They were none too happy to see me. Of course, now they see nothing at all, not with daggers in their eyes. The last one died not even an hour ago. That is what happens when you cross Wendy the Well Wicked.”
“Day 2: I’m getting warmer. I’ve seen evidence of Dragons. From the tracks, I make 3. Two adults and a child. Some Centaurs tried to ambush me, so I deprived them of their manhood, and then of their intestines. I hear Centaur Penis is an excellent aphrodisiac. To bed now, I have a full day of Dragon slaying ahead.”
“Day 3: That did not go according to plan. Everything went as I had strategized, until that cursed White Dragon showed up. His tail broke two of my ribs. But the Green Dragons did not seem to appreciate his help. While they were distracted, I slew one of the adults. I’m assuming it was the father. The female was furious at his death, and I could only make off with one of his fangs. The White Dragon fled the scene as well. Perhaps in the morning I shall try again.”
“Day 4: Curse my luck! I have become lost in this infernal maze. The beasts that lurk within keep turning me around. I have become completely disorientated. Worse still, I thought that fire would kill the vines, or at the very least, repel them. But fire only encourages the vines, makes them stronger. Now they have had a taste of my blood, they seem to follow me everywhere. I regret not learning the Arcane ways. I could use protection right about now. I can feel my body turn numb. And there is something else, something crawling up my body. OH GOD!!” (nothing more can be read, for the page is stained with blood).

The Journal of Umbra the Unfortunate
“Day 1 My word, I really am unfortunate. I was heading towards the Cave of Life, but somehow I got lost in this forest. I must have picked up the wrong map. I have no idea where I am, or how to get to the cave from here. Worse still, I’m being hunted by Gnomes. There are so many of them. I don’t have any bolts left in my crossbow now. I should have brought my sword with me. Oh hang on, I need to take a leak in these strange moving bushes.”
The Journal of Barbie Bimbokins
“Why is there red wine coming out of my chest where that little man poked me? And why doesn’t it taste like wine?

The Journal of Sephrin, Shadow of Death
“Day 1: I have been hired to assassinate a woman, a Cleric, who has information that my employers don’t want known. I have travelled to this backwater town of Kraler, where I am told she earns a living as a member of the Watch. It is strange. So far, all of the Watchmen I have seen have been Warforged. She must be the only human. This piques my curiosity. There must be something special about her indeed if she was recruited into a Warforged-only service.”
“Day 2: I have been contacted by my employers again. They have informed me to be wary of the Mayor and the Tavern’s Barman. Both are said to be skilled fighters and could fail my mission if they discovered my purpose for being here. They know that I have come through the Cave of Life. The Cave’s magic still lingers on me. I should not have to maintain my facade for much longer.”
“Day 3: My employers contacted me once more. They tell me that they intend to lay seige to this hick town and annihilate everyone within. I have seven days to complete my assignment and leave, or else risk being killed along with everyone else here. It would appear that I am expendable. That is precisely the kind of information I could have used prior to this assignment. I am beginning to regret working for the Shadow Legion.”
“Day 4: A group of travellers from out of town arrived today. They were a strange group. It seems unusual for an adventuring party to have TWO wizards. I cannot fathom the logic behind it so far. But I feel I soon will. The group seemed to head straight for the tavern, where they set about drinking their fill, and regailing these simple townspeople with stories (most likely exaggerated ones) about their adventures. From what I can tell, they met in Baldur’s Gate, and were part of that cursed group, the Harpers. There is one among the group who interests me: The Dragonborn Wizard. Such unusual appearance. I have never seen a Dragonborn with scales or eyes like that. I need to brush up on my Dragonborn Lore. After my mission of course.”
“Day 5: The Harpers have gone. The Mayor approached them this morning, asked them to head to the Tower. Some problem that had been affecting the town was tracked back there. The group were enthusiatic to get started. I overheard the conversation. Sounds to me like the work of Black Dragons. Young ones at that. If the Harpers’ boasts are true, this’ll be a piece of cake for them. The Mayor didn’t even notice me there. Apparently running a town of inbreds is exhausting.”
“Day 8: I have been following the target for quite some time now. Every morning, she takes a stroll to the edge of the nearby forest. The Evergreen Death as the hicks call it. Ha. They are just too weak to survive it. I will follow the Cleric into the forest tomorrow. She will not return this time. On another note, it would appear that the group of Harpers is dead. Except for that Dragonborn. He joined a new group of adventurers and they went out to the tower. Maybe the Dragonborn betrayed his colleagues. Maybe that’s what the unusual colourings indicates: insanity.”
“Day 9: That bitch of a Cleric must have known I was after her. Fortunately, I cut off her retreat. She could only go deeper into the forest. But not before wounding me with a parting shot. I’ll have to watch out for the crossbow in future. She does not seem well suited to the forest though, which will play to my advantage. If I can push her towards the heart of the forest, I should be able to trap her and move in for the kill.”
“Day 10: Curse that White Dragon! Where did it even come from? I was about to complete my mission. Perhaps I still did. The wound I inflicted on the Cleric may not have been immediately fatal, but hopefully she will be picked off by wolves. Even if she isn’t, she will not make it out of the forest. But neither will I. The Dragon’s last blow was a serious one. I do not have the strength to escape, and my Potion of Healing was spilled onto the forest floor. That was one smart Dragon. Hmph. I can hear screams in the distance. Kraler must be under seige. At least I escaped their fate. That provides me with some small consolation.”

The Journal of Magic Aaron, Senior Wandmaker of Kraler
“Day 1: I have come to this marvelous yet deadly forest in search of the Great Abrawood Trees. These trees are the best source of wandwood, yet they are so rare and well protected. But desperate times have forced me to search them out. My business faces collapse. I mistakenly purchased wands from a shady looking fellow after drinking copious amounts of Drunken Jerry’s Brain Killing Super Whiskey. In the morning, after waking up to find I had slept with the town slut yet again, and after the hangover had passed, I discovered that the wands (which I had been assured were made from Abrawood), were in fact made of the similar yet far inferior Flopsywood. These wands have a habit of backfiring, and bursting into flames.”
“Day 2: I have noticed that I’m being followed by Wood Woads. They must want to punish me for a crime I have not commited. Fotunately, they are keeping their distance from me. Perhaps they sense I am a wizard. Perhaps it has something to do with that disreputable Necromancy I found lying dead on the ground. From the looks of it, she had tried to interrupt a pair of Unicorns mid coitus. Judging by the hoofprint directly over her heart, they were understandably unappreciative of her rudeness.”
“Day 3: I have found something much better than Abrawood: Dragon bones. These will make spectacular wands. I cannot believe my luck. No creatures have attacked me, no traps have ambushed me, and I stumbled across this convenient Dragon corpse. If my luck holds out, I shall be back in Kraler by tomorrow evening, and a new batch of Dragonbone wands will be ready for sale the following morning. My business is saved! Wait! What was that shadow?”

The Journal of Tobias the Flatulent.
“Day 1: I have come to the Evergreen Death in search of the legendary treasure that is rumoured to lie here. So far, I have only found Gnomes. Seventeen of the little blighters attacked me today, and now all are dead. I have a few scratches from them, but it’s nothing. At dawn, I will push deeper into the forest, the treasure is said to lie in the heart.”
“Day 2: Still no sign of the treasure yet. More Gnomes attacked me. Three and Twenty Gnome carcasses now bleed into the forest floor. A few more injuries, but I can handle it. I doubt that I will sleep well tonight: I can hear larger creatures crashing through the forest. The campfire seems to be keeping them away. For now.”
“Day 3: DRAGONS!! TWO DRAGONS GUARDING THE TREASURE!! Gnomes I can handle but a mother dragon and her child?! Forget it. No treasure is worth my life. It’s a miracle I escaped. The mother dealt a parting blow. Of sorts. Her breath smells terrible. I can’t stand to eat, I can still taste her breath. On a positive note, no Gnomes today.”
“Day 4: Blasted Dragon bitch. Only now do I realise her breath was poisonous. I cannot stand, I cannot weild my sword. Even writing in this journal is a chore. My end is near. I only hope that these vicious vines claim me before I endure the humiliation of death at the hands of Gnomes.”

The Journal of Poor Marksman Harry
“Day 1: Curse my poor marksmanship. I came to this forest in the hopes of hunting a Unicorn. Instead, I shot myself in the foot. The arrow is wedged in the ground. I cannot move. I’m going to try to light a fire with a flaming arrow. 5,432nd time lucky?”

The Journal of Unhue Jarse, the Tavern Keeper’s daughter
“Day 1: My habit of spying on the tavern guests has paid off again. I uncovered that evil bitch’s intention. She wants the Unholy Spell. My father had told me it was only a myth. Well, myth or no, I’m going to see to it that she never finds the spell. I have successfully convinced a group of Eladrin to help me. They know of the spell as well, and have sworn to stop it from being discovered.”
“Day 2: I have found the rock. The inscription is there, just as the legend says. Or rather, it was there. I poured acid over it, corroding that Demonic Curse out of existence. I then washed the acid away with water, and revived the grass at the bottom of the rock that had been killed. My work was delayed however by the Dragonslayer. I couldn’t let her get away with murder, so I called out to Cyraxis II. Unfortunately, I was unable to save the father.”
“Day 3: Oh no. I’ve taken a wrong turn and stumbled into the Maze of the Hungry Vines. I don’t have the ability to fend them off. How ironic. I seek to end Necromancy, and find myself in need of it. I have found a “safe zone” however. Ancient magic was once placed over the entire forest, but its power has dwindled over the centuries. I have camped out by the source of the spell. In the morning, I must attempt a hasty exit, or else I will die horribly. I have tried to contact my father for rescue, but the Dark Magic that spawned these carnivorous vines is also disrupting my magic."
“Day 4: Of all the things that could have happened, I had to be brought down by the Dusk Unicorn. My desperate fleeing must have startled her and she charged. No humanoid can outrun a stampeding Unicorn. While the horn missed my heart, the wound inflicted will soon prove fatal. I only hope I die before the Vines take me. If anyone should find this journal, I would ask of them that they take my journal, and use the magic item in my pocket to send it to my father. He will want to know that my quest in itself was a success. I’m sure that by now, he already knows I shall not return alive. To make what I ask of you simpler, I will use my last reserves of energy to get to the exit, even if I have to crawl there. Once you are clear of the Maze, you will be able to send my journal.”

The Journal of Reverend Evelyn Pureheart
“Day 1: I had a visit from a Divine Messenger today. But not from Avandra as I expected. The Messenger was from the Raven Queen. I was told about the plot of the Shadow Legion, and I was handed a map. The map shows the Path of Destiny, a path which those who have answered Destiny’s Calling must follow in order to foil the Shadow Legion’s diabolical scheme. I must get this map to them, and tell them what they must do!”
“Day 2: The Shadow Legion must be on to me. A strange man arrived in town today. Though he claims to be an archaeologist, his appearance, and in particular his hands, scream Assassin. Not only that, but I spy too many weapons, and too few tools for someone interested in ruins. He shows little interest in the battlefield to the north, only in keeping to himself, and studying the town’s layout.”
“Day 3: Now the Assassin seems more interested in the Barman, Hugh Jarse, and our Mayor. Someone must have tipped him off that these are not men to be taken lightly. But he seems to be paying no attention the blind wizard, or to Wash, my Captain. This may be his mistake. If need be I will seek their help. But as a member of the Watch, I have been trained well in dealing with hostilities.”
“Day 4: I can only assume that my would-be assassin has received some bad news. He seems nervous and irritable. Perhaps he has finally realized that he means nothing to the Shadow Legion. I may be able to use this to my advantage. I shall string him along for a few more days, get him on edge. He’ll be liable to slip up under pressure, and then I can dispose of him.”
“Day 9: I think I have waited long enough. The Assassin is very much on edge, very short tempered. In the morning, as I have done every day since he arrived, I shall head to the Evergreen Death. Even if I fail to eliminate him myself, the forest will finish the job. I have prepared my crossbow, and it is fully loaded. I have my Rapier as well, but I should hope I won’t need it.”
“Day 10: It seems I have underestimated the Assassin. His reactions were faster than I thought, and only one of the 3 bolts I fired at him hit. The element of surprise has passed, and he is forcing me deeper into the forest. But I know it better than he does. There are some inhabitants who will help me. The Eladrins in particular, would jump at the chance to repay a favour to me after I rescued those 3 young girls from that pack of Boars.”
“Day 11: My luck has run out. Ever since I saw the bodies of the Eladrin, I knew that today would be the day I died. Who would slaughter them? I guess it does not matter now. I am done for. Even with the help of that White Dragon, the wound inflicted upon me was dire. Poison I suspect. Not fatal, just crippling. But I have lured him into the Maze of Death, so neither of us will survive the night. Not even if this area truly is the so called safe zone, my wound is too serious. Worse still, is the sound of my people dying. The Shadow Legion have made their first major move. But Kraler is only the beginning. They will seek out more soon enough. The Castle in the Sky. The City of Stars. Elasmeer. All of these places are important to the Shadow Legion. But there are the Destined Ones. The Cowardly Cleric, the Bizarre Dragonborn, The Clumsy Rogue, The Raging Barbarian, The Ineffective Swordmage, The Pyromaniac. They are the biggest threat to the Shadow Legion, and they will be hunted relentlessly.”

Why Wizards are awesome or: How I learned to stop worrying about Dragons

Continuing on our journey through the forest at the behest of Destiny, we encountered some Elves, with their pet Drake and their friend the witch. We fought them and killed them. We uncovered some strange markings on a stone and carried on through the forest.

We interrupted two dragons (a mother and her child) and I suggested we retreated. Baz and Northern Chris decided that we could handle them and so a fight ensues (I swear it’s an attitude like that that will get us killed and we are no use to anyone if we are dead!).

I needn’t have worried, because we have Sonliin with us and he’s a Wizard. Wizards are awesome. As he demonstrated.

Waiting patiently for his turn, Sonliin mumbled things until it was time to unleash his spell. HE cast Sleep on BOTH dragons. They both failed their first saving throw and therefore fell asleep. I then suggested that now would be a great time to retreat, but no, Baz and Northern Chris overruled me. So they started whaling on them (or is it wailing? neither make sense). We managed to almost kill one before he work up. He was quickly dispatched with. Then we had the mother left. she was a lot tougher.When she woke up she was kicking our arse until Sonliin came up trumps again. Realising that the biggest thing to effect us was the ongoing poison damage he cast Mass resistance to imbue us with magic that would filter out the poison, rendering half of the Dragon’s attack useless.

We are still in the fight with the Dragon, but hopefully it won’t be too much longer before we prevail and we can get on with learning more about what on earth is going on.

I enjoyed this session a lot :)

Penis Jousting

After the events of the last session, the heroes relaxed. They woke up the next morning with Lia gone. It turns out she had tried performing a magic trick and got stuck inside a hat.

Gathering up their stuff (including the hat) the heroes ventured into the woods for some reason (I must’ve missed why we were in there). Coming across an injured elven woman, the heroes advanced to help her out. Only to be met by a basilisk, a boar and a plant type thing. After dispatching those, we went to help the injured woman and as Birdseye got near her, she turned into a plant like woman and slapped Birdseye and ran off! She was a Dryad (and not a Dyke as Northern Chris thought). We chased her down and killed her. Looting the bodies resulted in nothing much.

We then carried on through the woods where we encountered 4 centaurs. We managed to kill these guys pretty quickly. There was a lot of discussion about penis jousting with centaurs. I had top take a phone call during the fight, so missed a good chunk of it.

Onwards we go, what will we kill next? Only Gareth knows.

Candy Floss Mugging
They may look sweet but they leave a sour taste...

So with the dimensional marauder off to his own plane of existence to attempt to deliver a message to Olden the remaining party members, and former-mayor Mordred, untied the female prisoner they had won from the battle. She claimed to be a nurse and had been left behind when the townsfolk ran away. Luckily, she also claimed to know where the townsfolk had headed, and they decided to escort her safely there, ‘cos that’s how they roll. They risk their lives for a whole town and intend on saving their companion (“friend” would be too strong a word – in fact, it took quite some discussion to even bother going after him) without any hope of a thanks or reward…

Not two steps out of the gate (and only two lines into their first showtune) they were ambushed by a gang of wil’o’wisps and some bats on fire (I’m not shitting you, the bats WERE ON FIRE!). Birdseye’s first impulse when he saw the wisps was to shout “OH MY GOD! THREE MOTORBIKES COMING RIGHT AT US!!” but before he managed to get the words out, or dive out of the way, it occurred to him that motorbikes wouldn’t have their lights on in the middle of the day. They weren’t motorbikes! Plus… he didn’t know what a motorbike was. He made a mental note to google it later. This last thought left him standing there, puzzled, and caused him to come out low down on the initiative order.

Leia at first attempted to talk her way out of a fight and through her discussion with the wisps she learned that:
1) They are drawn to anguish and dismay, which is what brought them to the town. They had actually set off before the town was attacked – the night before the attack someone was watching the TV show “Heroes”.
2) Neither the wisps nor the bats had any loot!
The lack of loot caused some dismay and anguish to the adventurers (which drew the wisps even closer), who considered running off without a fight, but feck it… it’d be FUN! So they dived in.

The sight of Arjhan giving one of the wisps a jolly good slap caused a flashback in Birdseye’s mind: when he was a teenager, getting out of the bath, he glimpsed the reflection of a candle in his left ball. “SHIT! SHIT! SHIT!!” he screamed as he started to punch what he thought was a wil’o’wisp, “A WIL’O’WISP!!!” It took close to an hour for the candle to burn out, at which point Birdseye thought he had killed the wisp. And that, boys and girls, is why Birdseye has only got one ball. He calls it Ed.

During the fight many a cut and bruise was sustained by the adventurers and yet… the NURSE stood there and did nothing (so did Sonlin as his powers are fire-based…).

Just as the adventurers had the upper hand in the battle there was a bright flash and the enemies were killed by means the DM did explain but Chris may have gone to make a cup of tea. The adventurers stared at the corpses of their foes and thought “What the hell was that?!”. Except Birdseye, who stood staring at his hands and thought “Fuck me I’m good!!”

They all healed up and went on their way. Just before they could break out into another showtune they entered a clearing. Linden pissed himself. He literally pissed himself. Before them stood a shit load of hell hounds and minotaurs, the sight of which had caused Linden to wet his pants. He put a brave face on but Birdseye (who would like to make it clear that he definitely hadn’t peed himself) could tell that he had indeed ruined his trousers. They then noticed that the vast majority of the enemies were actually frozen in place and that the remaining enemies would actually be a piece of cake to mop up. They let out a collective sigh of relief and Birdseye said “Thank god I didn’t wet myself! (Unlike Linden)”. Birdseye’s damp trousers caught him off-guard and caused him to come out low on the initiative order…

During the fight many a cut and bruise was sustained by the adventurers and yet… THE NURSE STOOD THERE AND DID NOTHING (so did Sonlin as his powers are fire-based…).

Just as the adventurers finished off the non-frozen enemies the frozen enemies started to shift or something (again, Chris may have gone to make a cup of tea, or maybe at this point he was killing that little spider that he saw on his wall) and they vanished. Then Cyraxis II turned up… but Paul wanted ot go to bed so Cyraxis II had to post his speech to a forum, which is a shame as Birdseye wanted to ask him what happened to the previous 10 Cyraxises. He’ll have to google it later.

And THAT’S how I passed the time waiting for tonight’s episode of FRINGE.

holy crap, where did he go!
do you believe in creatures from another plane of exsistance.

Indeed something was wrong, all eyes turned towards each other, each adventurer not quite knowing in that moment who to trust. The tension built like the blood testing scene in The Thing one adventurer thought, although this was from a quasi future premonition. The characters slowly, starting to apply the other traits they had, other than randomly butchery and assorted magical mayhem. They began to deduce, that there was something wrong and that there was a magical aura or so called “lynz effect” coming from a member. Through perception, they began to rule each other out from the suspect list, until they come to the character that was the suspect (Olden McGroin) and then poof, the character disappered or what was perceived as disappering. After some dumb founded looks amongst each other and that paused surely they interated with one of us to know they were a person from another dimension and the thought that maybe some of them probably shouldn’t eat berries from the forest as it doesn’t do much for concentration. They decided to continue with what they were doing anyway. Charming but it was a plan and thus they came across a funny looking triangle shaped creature. (He had some technical monster name from the codex of all things monsters, but lets face it, how many traingle shaped creatures thingys do you come across anyway, so you just remember his strange head). Well it seems this guy was rather popular and had all sorts of creatures after him, again (the lynz effect but for monsters, mynx effect if you want to coin it). The trusty bunch of adventures went straight to their first instinct with all situations ranging from picnics to book club meetings, pull out your weapons, staff, spells, wands and start hammering the crap out of things. It used to solve most debates and made adventurer picnics more of a laugh. Back and forth the adventurers laid down some pretty awesome whoop ass, not much on the tactics, just kick ass spell burning the poor little monsters to tasty bbq style snacks (going cheap at 10 gold coins per dozen). The adventuers with the sword, started hacking away like a pms effected butcher and in the end there wasnt much left of anything, the poor triangle shaped guy was out for the count and the place was a blooming mess. Still problem solved, no creatures left and for all the adventurers knew it could have been a friendly gathering of monsterville, (so our trusty heros probably wont win monster peace badges this year), still there’s always next year. After a quick refresh and a little bit of healing (whoaaa), they decided to quiz triangle guy. (You would think no he wouldn’t be chatty, but after the carnage it had seen and the dead carcases being used as snacks it thought yep better talk). After many ramblings about inter dimensional travellings and the fact that the lost adventurer couldnt be retrieved that easily, because the triangle guy employers were too powerful (think heavy trade union), it was decided that the friendly creature would take a message and this is where our adventurers paused. What message, how should they use this frightened dimension hopping triangle guy, what should the adventurors have as a dipping sauce for friend bug creatures, that will be the question for the next adventure.

Sod Off Salvation, We're On Break

So, after Mayor Mordred had been freed from the grip of the Succubi, our intrepid heroes took the fight to a group of Abyssal pricks who despised us almost as much as they despised the door they just smashed in. With Wash, Captain of the Kraler Watch and Mayor Mordred aiding the team, the foul monsters crumpled like wet paper bags. While wiping the blood from their weapons, a messenger came for Wash, requesting his assistance. Without hesitation, he departed with the messenger to do battle elsewhere. Mayor Mordred stuck with the party and requested they helped him liberate his beloved town from the invading monsters. They charged into the marketplace, which had been abandonned as the stall holders took up arms to fight elsewhere. But the marketplace was far from empty. A Fire Archon, a Firelasher and a Beholder Eye of Flame had taken up residence there and were in the process of looting when the cavalry arrived. Following a lengthy and one-sided battle, the trio were slain, and their mutilated remains left where they fell. It was at this point that the team bizarrely opted to take a 6 hour fag break. IN THE MIDDLE OF A RAGING BATTLE!! WHEN THEY’RE SUPPOSED TO BE SAVING THE TOWN OF KRALER!! When we return, we pick up the action 6 hours later, and needless to say, Kraler is no longer in good hands. The townsfolk have abandonned the town and all hope. Only the team and a very irate Mayor Mordred remain. But something is not quite right with one party member. But which one? And what isn’t right about them?

The death and rebirth of Birdseye Fishsticks

After the heroic sacrifices of Roghar Robbin, Golwar and Birdseye Fishsticks in defeating the evil dragons and rescuing the good dragon the remaining party members slumped down and took in the scene.

Quickly talk turned to resuscitating their fallen comrades, but Arjen was adamant that his brother would not want to be resuscitated as it went against his religion. It was decided that they would take Birdseye’s dead body back t town to see what they could do with it. Golwar’s body was unfortunately too heavy for anyone to carry, so they left him in place.

Heading back to the town, they went to the Dragon’s Head to see about raising Birdseye. After discussing it briefly with someone, a dragon was summoned and his lifeforce drained and given to Birdseye. Before he got to celebrate his new found life, some people crashed through the doors of the inn and started attacking the patrons. The 4 remaining party members took care of the attackers (with a lot of help from the other people in the tavern).

Once the situation had calmed down, the party was summoned to the Mayor’s office. It turns out that there were three mayors! 2 were clearly shape shifting imposters. Also in attendance were a Genasi Wizard by the name of Sonliin who was a Pyromancer as well as his good buddy Linden who was a Swordmage. They would’ve been very useful in the tavern brawl earlier, but never mind. Sonliin quickly identified who the real mayor was and some imps broke through the walls of the office and then a fight ensued. the imps and imposters didn’t last too long against the combined might of Arjen, Birdseye, Lia, Sonliin and Linden. Olden McGroin was present to, but the only contribution he seemed to make was hitting Sonliin and Linden with friendly fire (or friendly acid to be more precise). After the fight ended, the group caught their breath and before they could join forces and go and put right the ills of the town, some more people burst through the walls of the office (seriously people, get trained in Dungoeneering and build some solid fucking walls!!). We will kick their arse next time.

Chapter 1 Overview

I forgot to update this myself after each session, or to ask others to write a session report, so I’m going to write a quick summary for Chapter 1: The Tower of Kraler. Hopefully, I’ll remember to ask people to volunteer to write session reports and reward those that do.

Chapter 1: 5 Adventurer’s; Golwar, Birdseye Fishsticks, Lia Lightfoot, Roghar Rhobbing and Arjhan Rhobbing, have been travelling around as a group for a little while now and they come across the town of Kraler. They are having a drink in The Dragon’s Head, Kraler’s tavern, and picking fights with the patrons, when Mayor Mordred enters, followed by an unusual looking Dragonborn. Mordred approaches the adventurers and asks them to rid the town of a blight. He offers to reward them if they are successful. Accompanying them would be the Dragonborn, a Wizard and the sole survivor of the last party to attempt to save Kraler from its troubles. He had been saved by the team’s other wizard, who had teleported the Dragonborn back to Kraler to get help. This Dragonborn was called Olden McGroin. With their numbers slightly increased, and bladders full of ale, the team sets of to the ancient battlefield on the northen edge of Kraler. Here, long looted skeletons lay where they fell, and war machines rotted or in disrepair remain aimed at the centre of the wasteland, where Kraler Tower hovers above ground using ancient magic. The team make use of an ancient catapult that still works, and an invisible staircase that they eventually discover. They don’t have to venture far to discover why the previous team died, the tower is overrun with creatures. As the team battles its way through room after room crawling with baddies, they begin to find the remains of Olden’s former companions. The recently deceased were being protected by magic, most likely cast by the other wizard. But the tower also had magic of its own, whenever the team tried to exit a room with creatures still alive in it, an invisible barrier blocked their exit. Eventually they came before a golden door, which was rigged with a bomb. The team had to correctly enter 4 digit numbers into the combination locks to disarm the bomb and unlock the door. When they passed through the door, they discovered the source of Kraler’s problems: Three Young Black Dragons. Triplets. Something completely unheard of. A fourth dragon was there also, a Young White Dragon by the name of Cyraxis II. He had been talking to the brothers before the team arrived. Initially, Cyraxis II would only observe as the adventurers clashed with the triplets, but when one of the brothers attacked him, he became involved. Unfortunately, three party members lost their lives in battle, the triplets were much more powerful than ordinary YBD’s, and this advantage gave them the edge, but soon the survivors and Cyraxis II were victorious.

The PC’s were a little peeved that I got 3 of them killed. I said that I could bring back one of them. Birdseye was selected, and will be revived next session. I have promised that his revival would be epic, and I will keep that promise. The other two will remain dead. I await the new Characters, so I can add them to the team. I’m not in any particular hurry at the moment however.

Welcome to your Adventure Log!
A blog for your campaign

Every campaign gets an Adventure Log, a blog for your adventures!

While the wiki is great for organizing your campaign world, it’s not the best way to chronicle your adventures. For that purpose, you need a blog!

The Adventure Log will allow you to chronologically order the happenings of your campaign. It serves as the record of what has passed. After each gaming session, come to the Adventure Log and write up what happened. In time, it will grow into a great story!

Best of all, each Adventure Log post is also a wiki page! You can link back and forth with your wiki, characters, and so forth as you wish.

One final tip: Before you jump in and try to write up the entire history for your campaign, take a deep breath. Rather than spending days writing and getting exhausted, I would suggest writing a quick “Story So Far” with only a summary. Then, get back to gaming! Grow your Adventure Log over time, rather than all at once.


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